I imagine you simply reach a point where you say "please, please I can't anymore." and you give in. It's not nessisarily a special day. You just get tired. It's eternity and it's never going to end and you just need it to stop... just for a moment. Please, let it stop. So you say "yes" even if you don't really mean it... but it's too late, you can't go back now. Now you're tainted. Now you deserve Hell. Now you're a monster. You're weak. You try to say "nevermind! I changed my mind!" but it's too late. It's eternity and it's never going to end and there's no do-overs. There's just this and nothing else. Forever.