So evocative I woke up thinking about it this morning and still ranting at John in my head. :)
Your reply is fantastic and help me see things even more clearly--going through and reading everyone else's comments helps, too. You're so right, that Sam doesn't think about the hardness when there's kindness (unless he's high on painkillers). I think the part that got to me was when John took the scissors out and Sam flinched away. Being afraid of getting swatted is one thing...but what had Sam's poor little brain thought John would do with scissors? *weeps*
In the context you've set, John's actions are understandable. "Even if Sam hates him, he'll have survived"--so true. And sacrificial in a weird way--willing giving up the love and affection a regular father would be due because his kids' survival is far more important. So sad that, in this case, he probably would have gotten a lot more out of Sam if he'd shown more of the gentleness, been willing to answer the "whys" even if he still didn't let Sam out of anything or have flashlights. Even as an adult, Sam is the kind of guy who can do what needs doing if he feels like he's really contributing and not a clueless sidekick or automaton. In battle, there's not time to second-guess decisions, but there has to be a foundation there (which is why we don't let 12 year olds in the Army). But I can see John recognizing that Sam is suffering for it but thinking there's no other way.
People made some great comments about Dean, too...the mutual affection between the boys, the small ways he tries to help Sam out (even though Sam sees it as just blind obedience), the disconnent between the boys because Dean really DOES like most of this stuff. He was indoctrinated so young, and of course, he and his Dad were partners before Sam was even walking. I keep wanting him to step up for Sam, but it wouldn't be realistic, not in this context. And the honey scene was another killer: Dean understands and embraces Dad's lesson, for reasons of guilt and duty both. He doesn't want or need Sam's attention.
I love how Sam stil idolizes him anyway, and wants to take care of him the way he wishes he were being taken care of...and how even the jealousy isn't directed at Dean so much as at Dad's actions.
EEP. I am rambling on. But yes, this 'verse has made such a lasting impression and knowing that there's more (and darker! oh noes!!) has me simultaneously giddy and clutching my heart.
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Your reply is fantastic and help me see things even more clearly--going through and reading everyone else's comments helps, too. You're so right, that Sam doesn't think about the hardness when there's kindness (unless he's high on painkillers). I think the part that got to me was when John took the scissors out and Sam flinched away. Being afraid of getting swatted is one thing...but what had Sam's poor little brain thought John would do with scissors? *weeps*
In the context you've set, John's actions are understandable. "Even if Sam hates him, he'll have survived"--so true. And sacrificial in a weird way--willing giving up the love and affection a regular father would be due because his kids' survival is far more important. So sad that, in this case, he probably would have gotten a lot more out of Sam if he'd shown more of the gentleness, been willing to answer the "whys" even if he still didn't let Sam out of anything or have flashlights. Even as an adult, Sam is the kind of guy who can do what needs doing if he feels like he's really contributing and not a clueless sidekick or automaton. In battle, there's not time to second-guess decisions, but there has to be a foundation there (which is why we don't let 12 year olds in the Army). But I can see John recognizing that Sam is suffering for it but thinking there's no other way.
People made some great comments about Dean, too...the mutual affection between the boys, the small ways he tries to help Sam out (even though Sam sees it as just blind obedience), the disconnent between the boys because Dean really DOES like most of this stuff. He was indoctrinated so young, and of course, he and his Dad were partners before Sam was even walking. I keep wanting him to step up for Sam, but it wouldn't be realistic, not in this context. And the honey scene was another killer: Dean understands and embraces Dad's lesson, for reasons of guilt and duty both. He doesn't want or need Sam's attention.
I love how Sam stil idolizes him anyway, and wants to take care of him the way he wishes he were being taken care of...and how even the jealousy isn't directed at Dean so much as at Dad's actions.
EEP. I am rambling on. But yes, this 'verse has made such a lasting impression and knowing that there's more (and darker! oh noes!!) has me simultaneously giddy and clutching my heart.