Why Did Dean Break After 30 Years and Not Before?

[lovesrain44]

This is in reference to the 4.10 ep, Heaven and Hell, where Dean gives up the goods at the end and tells Sam the reasons why he doesn’t want to talk about hell. We find out the awful truth: that in order to stop the pain, Dean got up off the rack and became a torturer himself.

 

I realized I want to know WTF happened after 30 years that made Dean suddenly change his mind. I mean you don't go through 30 years of torture and then wake up one day and say screw this, do you? (I’m pretty sure Sam feels the same, but he’s being a Good Brother and giving Dean his space. For now, anyway.)

 

Maybe, after 30 years, maybe he hit his breaking point, maybe he got tired of Alistar coming by EVERY single day and just hit his limit.

 

When Dean said, at the end of Wishful Thinking, “…the things I did, the things I saw…” I instantly thought/figured/hoped that there was non-con between Dean and Alistar, because I’m whacked that way, and I kind of thought THAT would be the reason Dean broke. Not that he suddenly gave up one day. Or maybe Hell used Sam in some way, something that Dean thought was Sam.

 

What's most interesting to me is the fact that fanfic never considered that Dean could be broken, that he would make the choice he did as presented in canon. At least not the fanfic I’ve read. (I would be willing to be shown the error of my ways, however.)

I'd love to know what other people think!

Comments

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

My two cents: I don't think it's not important that he breaks or when. I think everyone breaks under torture at some point. And 30 years? That's pretty impressive. But I didn't want to say that. I wanted to say that torture can mean non-con as well. :(

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see what you're saying. There could have been non con all along! Nice. I like it.

Yeah, Dean broke. Anyone could have. I wouldn't have lasted that long, I don't think. I wonder what he kept inside of his head to keep him going...oh, I know. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam....

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

I keep wondering why I made that face: :( ... because, well I like the idea, too. I think I'm full in Christmas mode already.

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wondered too. I just figured it was the beer..... : D
(Wish I had me some!)

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

Nah... I get vicious when I'm drunk.

You know, my brother-in-law just told me yesterday they made an extra brew for Christmas... and because I will be in Munich over the holidays I will taste it. Mmmmhm.

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Really? I get all talkative and cuddly.

Oh man. I wish I was in Munich for Christmas! Or London, that would be about as good.

You know, I've seen that pic that your icon is based on. I thought it was a manip...he smokes?

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

Yeah he smokes... isn't that really sexy? *facepalm*

Where will you be on Christmas?

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

I will be at home. Can't afford to buy any pressies this year, alas, but I am lucky in that my family all lives close by. Except for the parents who live in Florida.

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I kinda be with my family, too. At least with the parts I still talk to, lol!
And presents are not important, important is the family Christmas fight.

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

I plan to be too drunk to enter the ring....

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

Yeah, as I said... that doesn't exactly stop us Bavarian women. My brother-in-law will be hiding under the table as every year. :DD

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Okay. How can you possibly be depressed when you have access to German beer and brochen? And good German butter?

When you could GO to Langen and get fried chicken made FRESH any time?

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

Don't start with hissy fits. Eating and drinking isn't all what matters. Besides last night I got heartburn from beer and cinnamon chocolate. That was a stupid thing to do.

What on earth is 'brochen'? Brötchen?

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

My mouth waters at the thought of it......even though I'm sorry you had heartburn.

If eating and drinking isn't all that matters, then what does? Besides sex and porn, I mean.

And yeah, brochen is Brotchen. : D

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

What do you mean, besides. That was exactly what I meant.

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Your icon is obscene.

Eating, drinking, sex, porn. And fanfic.

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

*your icon is obscene* Yeah, it likes your place. Feels like home.

Yes, let's not forget good fanfic. I probably should rec you a new comm, but... I don't know. Feel good fic? For you? I don't know.

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Oh come on. Be swell to me. Rec me something, rec me a new comm.

Have you heard of the spn roundtable? I'm not trying to beat you at this, but I came across it yesterday again, and keep wondering why I don't look at these recs. It's a very writery comm.

http://community.livejournal.com/spnroundtable/tag/rec:+gen

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

You do know that you just gave me a link for gen stories? I don't read gen. WTF?

Ok, here it is... read the profile first before you start insulting me, ok? And it's new... so not much there right now.
http://community.livejournal.com/feelgoodfic/

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

You're missing out. You read Big Pink's stuff yet? That's gen, but it packs a whallop. I write gen. I write lots of gen. It's mean gen! Bad things happen!

Sorry about the link. It was on gen, but you can erase back and get the whole picture. Sheesh. Try this:

http://community.livejournal.com/spnroundtable/

Checking out your link now...

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

I don't even have the time to read all the slash I would like to. So I don't read gen.
The comm looks good. Into my bookmarks. Someday I will read more fics. I'm sure of that.

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Big Pink is so good I want to have her baby.....

Someday we will all be free from the chains of oppression and every day will be fanfic day!