lovesrain44 | Ode to Joy (And the mighty peen)

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Ode to Joy (And the mighty peen)

I recently had a conversation with my friend about men peeing. We were at Old Chicago. I'd had two beers at the time, was working on my third and saw two relatively hunky men making their way to the bathroom together. Having had as much beer as I'd had, I said aloud to my friend, "Those men are going to pee together, how do they do that?"

Raising an eyebrow, she said, "We pee together."

I said, "No, we don't. We go to the bathroom at a resturaunt or a movie theater together, but we pee separately. Men pee together."

It took a minute, but she got what I meant. Then she loftiy said, "Men have different bathroom culture than we do."

At that point, I had to agree with her. I've long gotten over the weird-seeming idea that a man pees standing up with his johnson in his hand. I have yet, however, to reconcile myself to the fact that a man will stand next to another man doing exactly the SAME thing. It seems such an intimate thing to do, to expose yourself like that, but I guess men are used to it. They've grown up that way, so to them, it's nothing.

I'm sorry. It still makes me giggle.

So. Today when I read this little tidbit, I had to laugh at this post from the guy who tries out and sometimes gets parts on cool shows like SPN, BSG, and others. Here's a link to the whole post, but below, I've quoted the part of the post that matters:

***
...At work last night, one of the porters comes back to tell me,

"Those guys from that awful show 'Supernatural' are at the bar, and one of them is actually flexing for a fan."

Oh, I had to see this. I do a very clever thing when scoping celebs at the bar, which is I pretend I'm looking for someone else so I don't look too obvious. Oh yeah, I'm smooth. Sure enough there was Sam and Dean Winchester, the guys I play almost every time I read on the North Shore. So, I see 'em, and think "cool, I've seen 'em," and go on about my business (because it is "my business") when I later get assigned to bathroom-checking duty.

So I'm wiping up the counter that seems to never be dry, when lo and behold the Winchester boys bust in, laughing and cavorting, as often brothers do. I step out to grab some c-fold paper towels, and go back in where Jensen Ackles (AKA Dean) is talking to the guy they're with. One of the off-duty kitchen guys comes in to relieve himself and acknowledges me with a "Bootstrap!"

"Bootstrap?" inquired Jensen.

"Yeah it's my nickname," said I.

"Bootstrap?" he persisted, still curious.

"Well yeah, my name's Will, so it's like 'bootstrap' Bill Turner from 'Pirates of The Caribbean."

"Oh. I just said 'nice shirt' to that guy, 'cuz it's got the big letters on it, and he just says 'bootstrap'."

"Oh, so he totally ignored you?"

"Yeah."

"Weak, man."

And then, I couldn't resist. I had my opening.

"You know, I read for your show all the time."

"Really?" he said, smiling big.

"Yeah, actually one of the girls who works here was on the episode that aired last night."

"Which one?"

"Oh, she was the girl at the doctor's office in the '70's episode."

"Oh yeah, I remember. Hey man, I'm Jensen what's your name?"

I then shook his freshly-washed (I hope) hand, and went on my my way. I could have shot him a "see you on set one day", but that would have been a bit much.

Or would it?

***

So, a lot of people seem to be asking, "what bar is that?" and "when were they there?" Me? I had the giggles REAL BAD. This should be a lesson to me never to surf while at work, but it won't take, I just know it.) So yeah. I'm sitting there thinking, these guys, they live together. They work together. They go to football games and to the bars together. They are connected at the hip and might or might not be having sex this VERY MINUTE.

There's an old idea that when men pee together, they check out the size of each other's peen. You've heard this one, right? (Please tell me that you know where this is going...) So even though they have their own trailers, and probably have their own bathrooms in Jared's house, here, in this public restroom, the boys might very well have peed right next to each other. Given, yes, the "buffer urinal rule," it's still quite possible. My big conclusion here is that there is a 99% probablity that they've ACTUALLY seen each other's peens.

I love this idea, I don't know why, but it's made me laugh all day. To the boys (or to any man) I'm sure it's not a big deal. But to me? It's hysterical. And quite, quite fun to think about because it takes fanfic to a whole new level of real. So I have to say, I don't care if they've consumated their relationship or if they will EVER do so, what matters to me is that they are both VERY happy forever for all the joy they've brought me today.

The End.

P.S. 12 Unspoken Rules For Urinal Etiquette

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

LMAO. . . well I am a guy and our bathroom etiquette is that you never use the urinal (stand up pee thing) directly next to another guy. One of those unwritten rules. lol. I have however in my youth used the same toilet as a friend at the same time as him. Now that I'm older it seems wierd, but for some reason it was normal to me then. lol

Yes, yes! The "buffer urinal rule" would apply, if there were an odd number of urinals and an even number of men. Say...five urinals and two men. But the way this guy describes it, he leaves the bathroom with three men in there at least...the J's, their pal, and then in comes the cook. So there's like four guys in there. How many urinals in a bar bathroom? I'm still sure my theory holds, though I appreciate that male bathroom etiquette might throw a wrench in that. : D

(Still giggling!)

Bwahahaha... as you know I worked a long time as a waitress. And believe me, there is a huge difference between hetero bars and , well, not gay but gay friendly bars. And the most funny things happen if hetero men visit the loo in the gay friendly bar. ROTFLMFAO!!!!

Of that I have no doubt! Poor guys probably never know what hit them!

This sounded like a fairly straight bar...but what I love is the AMOUNT of conversation this guy got out of Mr. A. I was thinking about this last night...he's in a bathroom, and he's not only trying to compliment one guy, he's totally introducing himself to another guy. Hello? What's up with that, then.

Hello? Maybe Mr. Ackles is really gay? I mean, REALLY gay? As in forever, never was straight? And most probably really drunk that evening? LOL! I snorted as I read that story a few days ago...

And in that gay friendly bar, there was always a looooooong line to the one stall (right word?) in the men toilet...

That has been my theory for some time now. I proposed said theory at a convention recently...and expected to receive a horrified and/or angry reaction from fangirls. Fangirls yawned collectively in my face and said, oh yes, sure. We've known, we've always known. Took the wind RIGHT out of my sails! So I think you are right. Drunk and gay. AND hanging out with Jared having a good ole time. : D (As he should do.)

Stall is the right word - and I believe you about the long line!

Yeah, I have a RL friend in the US. He is gay and lives in San Francisco. And he told me years ago about Mr. Ackles. I never saw him on screen that time but he said ' really hot, and right out of Texas, mmmhh' or something like that.
Don't misunderstand me, he didn't know him personally but Jensen Ackles was something like a celeb there before, in his model days.
And his 'girlfriends'? Please. I think Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield were a dream team compared to them.

But this whole thing with Jared... I didn't believe it first. I'm never was into RPS before, I always thought ewwww, a line to not cross. But those two... as Jared broke up with Sandy after getting engaged a few months before, and then sharing his house with Jensen and the whole hints JARED made (Jensen is much more reserved), I was like:Huh! Like he couldn't stop himself saying something... and all that hugging and picking lashes and I don't know what... I NEVER saw straight men behave that way. Never. So, I think they're doing it, and I think they're head over heels.

Laughing HARD, really really hard. Inappropriately HARD. At work. In a cubicle, where people can hear me. Oh, it’s bad. BAD. Jensen was a well known in San Fran during his model days? Oh, my word. This is all the proof I need for my own little theory. Gay, gay, gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it explains so much.

Jared seems to fling the flirty little comments about Jensen’s pretty little ass like they were candy. He doesn’t seem to care what fans think, and really, he’s so well liked in fandom (from what I can see) that he’s like Teflon, nothing bad is going to stick. And we seem to love him all the more for his playing around with the idea.

Jensen, yes. Reserved. Holds back. Comes out of his little shell when Jared is there – like Jared’s his shield, his protection from fannish crazyness. Can’t say as I blame him; he acts like he’s been burned in the business some years back, and plays it close to the chest always. What’s fun is knowing this (being PRETTY darn sure that he’s gay) makes watching Dean all that more fun. Dean’s such a macho thing, an alleycat prowling around – that to see Ackles pull off this straight guy role to a T. He’s fabulous and that’s just facts.

Haha... yeah, he's a great actor. And he better stays in the closet because I really want to see him in good movies, you know.
And we all knew what happens to actors who are openly gay or lesbian. (Except the ones who are already so famous, like Jodie Foster, that they can produce their own)

Do you know the old model pics of Jensen? If not I have a few on my HD. *giggles*

Yeah, he needs to stay in the closet for a while now, and I'm happy to leave him there so he can continue to work and do stuff in the acting biz, and so I can enjoy Dean, maybe even with his clothes off some day.

Yes! I've seen those! Don't get me started....some of them look SO gay. :D

Some of them, the cowboy ones, look like he's far too young for that sort of thing....

Some of them, the cowboy ones, look like he's far too young for that sort of thing....
You know I thought exactly the same thing. But he wasn't. But the pics were made to look him too young, and that's something I could always throw up about.

so I can enjoy Dean, maybe even with his clothes off some day.
Please, pretty please. God, can you hear me?

The cowboy pictures...every time I look at them, I think that someone was peddling that poor kid's ass, and he was way too young to know what he was selling. It always looks like child porn to me, and it squicks me something feirce! It's totally possible that he's of age and that everyone involved did it all on purpose, but...you know? Squicked.

As for Dean nekked? Any time, any day...but the sooner the better. God is listening, I'm sure of it.

Major squick! *shudders* (Not for Dean naked, please.)

Other topic. Do you know the epic story of Jensen's 'cousin'? And then 'not cousin' but 'room mate' since almost Highschool days? And the pictures that goes with that story? And the fact that the 'cousin/not cousin' just sold Jensen old SUV on ebay? LMAO!!!

Yes, agreed. Every fan I know has those pics, and all the fans I've talked to do the same thing. They wrinkle their noses and go, yes, I have them, but I don't enjoy looking at them.

Jensen's cousin? Do TELL!

Have NOT seen the pictures that go with that story!!!

I've seen the bit about him selling his SUV, love all the bells and whistles he had on that thing, such a guy that way. Saw the name of the fellow doing the selling....didn't know it was the same guy.

Um, what can I bribe you with to send me pics of the story of Jensen's cousin?

lovesrain@yahoo.com

LOL! You don't have to bribe me just promise to not post them.

I'll send it to you in a minute, have to dig them up.

At least he never said that guy was his secretary... as Hugh Grant, Robbie Williams and Jodie Forster did with their *cousins room mates whatever* *snorfle*

I promise not to post them. They will linger on my hard drive forever, never to be uploaded to anyplace. :::nods:::

Yeah! And when you send them, tell me the story, huh? Like, how you came by them an' stuff.

Is that what those guys do? I never pay attention usually, but I guess I will now. : D

Yeah, all those guys with male secretaries... LMAO!

And brace yourself... with the laughing and all.

Braced. Ready! *braces feet against the floor and sits up straight*

Here you go... :DD

You are GOOD to me. : D

I don't know, it's a matter of trust. I NEVER sent those to anyone before.

I'm honored. : )
Truly. And thank you. These are totally fun.

:DD You're welcome. (I'm smiling like crazy because it's fun to share them with you)

Right back at you! It's better to giggle with a pal. : D

Gay, gay, totally gay. Hell, he doesn't even need fangirls when he has THAT.

:DD
Put yourself in his place... all that screaming girls and WOMAN!!!
Do you know Jensen appearance in the Jimmy Kimmel show? Kimmel says something like: 'Oh Lord all those women screaming... and lots of guys!' And Jensen says' Yeah I see the guys.' LMAO! Kimmel asks him later on if he has a girlfriend. BOY! If looks could kill he would be down on the floor. And no answer from Mr. Ackles.

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