Can You Say Wow? I Knew That You Could

[lovesrain44]

This recently got posted at Fandom Secrets, which I check every day because it's so dang fun:



And I can say that I don't know when I have been as flattered as this.

Except for my friend amothea bugging me week in and week out, the stories never got a lot of feedback, so I really thought that the two of us were the only ones who liked them. That they were personal guilty pleasures only, and not....well, just not what people wanted. To find that there was at least one other person out there who also liked them, well.

I assure Anon, not at all pathetic, that I do have more stories in my head for this.

One thing I had to be sure of was to not back out of the contract I had set with myself, that John stayed John, and kept being the tough drill sergeant for the summer from hell. And that Dean and Sam remained true to the themselves in this era, somewhat at odds, not quite getting along. It's turned out to be harder than I had thought, to keep it edgy and mean. But I want to write them, I do. Writing Blue Skies took it out of me a bit, but the stories are most assuredly there. In my head.

Thank you again for the tremendous complement in being sad that there have been no updates in over a year. Over a year? I am sad too, now!

Edit: The stories did get a lot of feedback, and a lot of readers liked the darkness and the grit. I guess I always felt that since this verse was so personal to me that....oh, never mind. I'm not even sure what I'm saying now.  Foolish writer is foolish and should just write what feels good.

 

Comments

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[charmedstrange1.livejournal.com]

I’ve been asking myself the same question for a LONG time: why on earth is this kind of stuff fun to read? I have no answers for you...

I'M gonna chalk it up to the same kind of catharsis one receives from watching a Shakespearean tragedy-- we can see someone else's pain so we don't have to experience our own. NOT because we're twisted and like to see Sam and Dean suffer... No, no.

Ooooh, ooh, I see what you’re saying now. John breaks him and Sam goes numb and starts doing just what he’s told... No, absolutely not, I will not be doing this to our Sam. First, because that would be too mean, even for me...

AND

And John doesn’t seem like the sort of father to push and push and push till it breaks... But I think you are also saying that if it gets much worse for Sam, you can SEE it happening and you don’t want it to!

YES!!! All true, except I would add that YOU may not be mean enough to do this to Sam, and THIS JOHN may not INTEND to do this to Sam-- but he's already just on that line for me of DESERVING this kind of Sam!!! Even though that doesn't do Sam justice at all-- at this point it's just about punishing John enough-- if there can't be any amelioration for Sam. Which I have already been told, I will not be getting. *pouts*

Even so...

I found my notes and dusted them off. I’m working on one right NOW.

I CANNOT. FUCKING. WAIT. !

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Yes, you will not be getting them. No and no and no, and do you have any idea how hard it is not to give in? Either to you OR Sam? : D

I think, or at least hope, that in the back of John's mind, he's keeping tabs on just how far he can and should push Sam, to reach the edge of that horrible breaking point without actually breaking Sam.

And for you, to keep you busy, at least a little while....

http://lovesrain44.livejournal.com/39121.html

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[charmedstrange1.livejournal.com]

I HAVEN'T EVEN CLICKED THE LINK YET and I had to stop and tell you... I saw it and went-- *long gasp* "OMGOMGOMG"

Heeee! *runs to click*

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Yeah!!!!!!!

Have a good time, you hear? Cause it's going to get bumpy from here.

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[charmedstrange1.livejournal.com]

Cause it's going to get bumpy from here.

*cringes*... *like Sam cringes from his Dad* :P LOL

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Aw....you're so nice to be so empathic.

So let me ask you, oh fellow discusser of dark stories, besides Sam getting the otter pops from Dad (and not Dean as my sister suggested) what other bad things do you see happening. I always figure that there ought to be more training, and I do have some strong ideas for that, knife throwing, fire building, endurance training, maybe some Latin on a rainy day....

Your thoughts?

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[charmedstrange1.livejournal.com]

Hi again! I've been thinking about this thread and wanting to get back to you since you last posted, but school ambushed me and I've just (very briefly) come up for air.

I've been trying to think of what sort of training might be most heinous best for Sam next, and... I just don't have any good, concrete suggestions. For purely selfish reasons, anything that requires seemingly endless stamina and staying on task ad nauseum whether you want to or not seems especially punishing just now, so maybe the endurance training sounds good-- just because I can relate. :P

But in the meantime, let me tell you where my mind has been. :D This is just my idle thinking about what could happen next... One thing I was thinking of was some kind of twist on the whole Sam-is-better-at-something, that maybe he could find some small thing that he does do better and *wants* to do better, maybe because it's less threatening to Dean and it's also something that can be *his* (maybe even Dean and John don't know about it somehow?)

Maybe Latin, or knife work, or I dunno, something Sammy can take a small bit of pride in privately (that won't scare him to death). I know that doesn't really fit in with the summer from hell, but I thought of that as just a glimmer he could have, a foil to the crossbow, kind of. (Which, btw, did I mention? brilliant move, which I totally did not see coming.)

The other thought I had, and this *really* doesn't fit in with the theme of the summer, but just as a part of my daydreaming-- you know Sam has fucked up (breaking the rifle, running away), and Dean has fucked up (push through the window), and I was thinking maybe it would be time for John to fuck up. Of course, he's made some mistakes, but he hasn't done anything *wrong*, at least to his own mind, I think. I was just wondering what would happen to the dynamic if *Dad* did something that wasn't well thought-out or was just simply a screw up-- overestimating how strong Sam was, or how far he could be pushed on stamina, or I don't know- some kind of technical error (though that would be less likely for John Winchester, Marine). I know part of the knife-edge has been John figuring just how far he can go with Sam... what if he slipped, just a little, just once?

Of course, whatever the mistake was would end in Sam getting hurt or injured- the difference being that this time they would *all* know it was John's fault, and no denying it. *shrugs* I know, doesn't really fit at all with the rest of the story thematically, but it has the (self-serving) advantage of taking John down a peg while still, unfortunately, not giving Sam any relief. Heehee, just wanted to let you know where my idle mind wanders when I don't have a new installment to keep me occupied. :D

Don't know when I'll be resurfacing again- it's not looking good for a few weeks :P -- but I'll try to keep checking back to be sure I don't miss anything! Do you still have your notes out? Are you writing something *now*?? *grabby grabby hands* :D

Re: Thread F (for the love of mike!)

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

For purely selfish reasons, anything that requires seemingly endless stamina and staying on task ad nauseum whether you want to or not seems especially punishing just now, so maybe the endurance training sounds good-- just because I can relate.

Yes, good! I have endurance training on the list, a recently discovered website that gave me the most devious of ideas. Poor Sam.


I know that doesn't really fit in with the summer from hell, but I thought of that as just a glimmer he could have, a foil to the crossbow, kind of.

He should have something he's really good at, true. Too bad it's the crossbow, which is Dean's favorite thing, bwa haa!


(Which, btw, did I mention? brilliant move, which I totally did not see coming.)

You liked that, huh? Nice. I almost made it so that Sam went on being good at it, and then it got weird becuase why would Sam want to achieve anything that Dad wants? You can see vestiges in the scene, where Sam thinks, hey this would be cool. So I understand the sentiment of wanting Sam to be good at *something*.


I was just wondering what would happen to the dynamic if *Dad* did something that wasn't well thought-out or was just simply a screw up...I know part of the knife-edge has been John figuring just how far he can go with Sam... what if he slipped, just a little, just once?...Of course, whatever the mistake was would end in Sam getting hurt or injured... but it has the (self-serving) advantage of taking John down a peg while still, unfortunately, not giving Sam any relief. Heehee, just wanted to let you know where my idle mind wanders when I don't have a new installment to keep me occupied.


Awwwwww. : D I'm sorry you have to keep yourself occupied on account of no new installment, but
I love your idea, and it's completely new to me, and I've been thinking about it all day! The only problem is that if John did make a mistake he'd make a lesson out of it and, from Sam's pov, there's no way he'd know if it took John down a peg. It'd have to be one of those "through Sam's eyes we know what John's thinking" so I think it'd fuck Sam up worse, which would be fine.

Are we talking broken bone(s) or a slice of the knife or maybe Sam gets bashed unconscious during an unfortunate sparring accident....and where does the angst come in on that? The trick would be if John hurt Sam and Sam (trying to buck up like John's always saying) refused to admit he was hurt and just kept going and going till he collapsed. Then his gratification would come in seeing John's shock that yes, damnit, Sam wasn't faking it. So it's gratifying for Sam, but not angsty. Still...I like this idea a LOT. I like the way your brain thinks. : D

Don't know when I'll be resurfacing again...Are you writing something *now*?? *grabby grabby hands*

My notes are out and I am always poking at them, hoping they'll write something on their own. And don't worry if real life grabs you, I'll be here when you get back. : D