Why Did Dean Break After 30 Years and Not Before?

[lovesrain44]

This is in reference to the 4.10 ep, Heaven and Hell, where Dean gives up the goods at the end and tells Sam the reasons why he doesn’t want to talk about hell. We find out the awful truth: that in order to stop the pain, Dean got up off the rack and became a torturer himself.

 

I realized I want to know WTF happened after 30 years that made Dean suddenly change his mind. I mean you don't go through 30 years of torture and then wake up one day and say screw this, do you? (I’m pretty sure Sam feels the same, but he’s being a Good Brother and giving Dean his space. For now, anyway.)

 

Maybe, after 30 years, maybe he hit his breaking point, maybe he got tired of Alistar coming by EVERY single day and just hit his limit.

 

When Dean said, at the end of Wishful Thinking, “…the things I did, the things I saw…” I instantly thought/figured/hoped that there was non-con between Dean and Alistar, because I’m whacked that way, and I kind of thought THAT would be the reason Dean broke. Not that he suddenly gave up one day. Or maybe Hell used Sam in some way, something that Dean thought was Sam.

 

What's most interesting to me is the fact that fanfic never considered that Dean could be broken, that he would make the choice he did as presented in canon. At least not the fanfic I’ve read. (I would be willing to be shown the error of my ways, however.)

I'd love to know what other people think!

Comments

[lovesrain44.livejournal.com]

Yes, people will break at any time, I was just wondering why at that certain point, why THAT day. My brain works that way, but there could also be no reason, just one day Dean wakes up on the rack and he's done. He's had it.

As for non con, someone (mellow tears) was talking about the sexuality in that little scene. I buy non con as a regular part of the torture, personally.

I don't think I've read any fics where Dean is broken...but are writers afraid of showing Dean broken, or is it just that they never considered that he COULD break? Me, I think it's the latter, because he seems such a strong character. But, yeah, it wouldn't make him any less the hero if he broke. If they did it right.

[leelust.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean - but i think the certain date was just figure of speech - it was a process for Dean - being tortured in hell and as in every process with something strong there's breaking point. It doesn't matter whether it happened in 30 years or in 32 for example the important part is that it happened.

I buy non con as a regular part of the torture, personally.
Oh, no doubt there. I buy it too. I meant that it wasn't non con (and only non con) that broke Dean. But as part of the tortures? Def it was there. It's all complicated cos what he said is words - not the real images (cos for us it's easier to understand with words and pictures that we can interpret) but really in hell Dean had only soul w/o the body so technically he couldn't be raped or something - it's more like the images for us to understand the level of torments.

or is it just that they never considered that he COULD break? Me, I think it's the latter, because he seems such a strong character
Yes, i know. But you know what the more interesting part is? That Dean wasn't broken. He was on the level he wasn't be able to hold the torture anymore and he started to torture himself but he wasn't broken on the level he'd doesn't care of what he does. I mean - he's still suffering from what he did. It can do only a person that care. The care is the first symptom of human. So yes, he did awful thing down therу cos it was his way of coping but he didn't give it up completely. The thing he did hurt him more than the souls he tortured - so his conscience is intact. *if it has sense...*